Fear plagues us creatively.
I've just done some writing on my new book and I am trying a few new things. But I find my critic talking to me and telling me that its crap and noone will like it. The usual BS that a critique in a particularly nasty mood comes up with when he wants to sap your of your creative energy for the day.
Why I am afraid? Ultimately its an ego thing. After all these years of writing I still have little confidence in myself. I hear my English 11 teacher's voice telling me that I don't write as well as my older brother and sister (thanks for that Mrs. W.). But I stop myself and I ask myself a couple of important questions. Is my story compelling? The answer is yes. My critique groups and fellow writers tell me that.
Why don't I believe them? Again it's an ego thing. In my arrogance, I think I know more than them. I have to because they'd see what a bunch of crap that I write. They're off a little bit on the intellectual side. Got to be. They like my stuff.
Its a vicious cricle. In the end I fear rejection like anyone else and that is ultimately what our inner critique is protecting us against.
So what do you do? You confront your fear and push through. Take chances. Put the words on the paper and live fearlessly. Well fearlessly until tomorrow or the next day when that voice tells you again that you write crap and that people are going to see it for what it is, ridiculing your efforts. Inner critiques are persistent buggers apparently requiring very little negative energy to live their days in the shadows of your mind. A little believe in their talk each day goes a long way. But they are not necessarily truthful.
Believe in your work. Live fearless. Starve the buggers.
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