Day 29: The Role of Critics

Here I am again talking about that inner critic. Last night, as part of a course I am talking, we did a formal reading of part of our work. I decided to push the envelope as part of my learning process and read a particularly emotionally difficult section. Well, it was a success. My feedback was great. I knew when I was reading that it was a powerful moment as the listeners were engaged. I had their attention.

That's not exactly true. While I had their attention about 15% of the audience gave the work, as opposed to the reading which were all positive, negative reviews. I had laboured on correcting some of the deficiencies in the work for three days leading up to the reading. The leader of my fiction group felt that I left some of my better writing off the table and that this particular piece lacked the nuances she had come to expect from me. I was at a loss to understand it all.  

I found myself back to where I was three days ago. Questioning my vision. Doubting my skills because I thought it was damn good writing. What did I do? I wrote an email to a trusted writing friend to ask her opinion as to the specifics as to what she thought was wrong. She had given me some feedback as well that suggested that she enjoyed my reading but felt the section read lacked some of my usual polish (she was one of the four of twenty -six that found it lacking to some degree). I will wait for her response.

Two things arise from this:
1. If you want to put your art out there, you need to grow a thick skin because not everyone will like it. People have different tastes; and
2. Don't get your feelings hurt. Have the courage to examine the negative opinions about your work. That, with practice, is the only way to improve as an artist. When doing your reflection on the comments ask yourself whether the person making the comment understands your intention. If no, is it your problem or theirs? Is there a way to make your intention more apparent to the reader? Remember if the reader doesn't get your intention you really have to look at yourself.

Another of the negative reviews referenced a section where I said the 16 year old had dolls and collector barbies on her shelf. This was written while the girl was in her room needing comfort from some horrific event. My intention was to establish via this image that the girl was niave and overly protected by her mother and as such the reader could have more compassion for her due to her innocence. It was also a reflection on her mother. Did I fall short on my intention? I have to look at it and perhaps make changes to better show what I wanted to convey.

Last night's experience was my first real taste of the critic in the public. I need to remember that it is their opinion. But I really need to watch that it doesn't give fuel to the fire for the only critic that matters -  my inner one.